Just a little update coz im a little anti social

It has been an incredible journey. I am back, safe and happy. I am even happier that I have a computer beside me at all times now that if I need something to write down. Overseas was hard when I was in my creative mood, it also put a hold to my book which I was sad about but the trip was amazing in everyway possible. My heart broke when we had to leave New York; it is the one place I feel I belong. I was really young when I first went there but I remember saying that if there was a place big enough for me that it would be NY. And now that I went back as an adult those feelings couldn’t be any stronger. I was sick and it was cold and raining while I was in NY and although that kind of put a very gross mood to things, I couldn’t have been happier being there. I loved it soooo much. Just being on Broadway took my breath away.
Vegas took my heart away. That place is just rad, old, young, wise and immature. There is something there for everyone.
And London, wow. If there was a place I could just subside apart from NY, it be London for sure. Amazing. Rad. Awesome.

My new saying is ARA, which stands for Amzing. Rad. Awesome.
I love it. It brings the dork out of me,

Also my book is doing amzing, I have changed it a lot in some ways. Some new characters have come to stay in my heart and the plot is changed in a way too. I guess I am now basing it on my world trip, but there is still some of my original book in it.
I am in love with what I am doing, every night I go to bed tried and my eyes so sore from the computer but it is an addiction that I love, hopefully I will be a published author sometime next year. And I am hoping it is soon.

“He inspires me, although he doesn’t know I exist, I think I love him, he brings the best and the worst out from me, and although I cant help that, I don’t care, I just want him around.”

I still can't believe it. RIP.

I still cannot believe it.

Today is a very sad, sad day in my world.
Today, the world has lost the king of pop.

RIP Michael Joseph Jackson
(August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009}

Today, I put on my MJ records and celebrated the life of the man I love.
Today, he will join all the greats, Elvis Presley, Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe and John Lennon.

We will never forget you.

Far far away. Away from you

Seven days. I am honestly getting so excited, I cannot wait.

I have been packing for so many months, but no I really got to get myself to work because there is so much packing to do in seven days that it’s just insane. So much to do, so little time.
In seven days I will be enjoying a day in Auckland, I can not wait, I have never been to New Zealand but no many friends who have and they say it is wonderful and in eight days I will be in LA, enjoying summer, the sun and the Hollywood lights.

Lately I have been running around like a moron for the past few weeks collecting and gathering stuff that I will probably need for the next few months. it has been such a long time, for these past few months I have only thought about myself and it felt so good, I didn’t care where you were, what you were doing or who you were with. I didn’t count down the days since I last saw you, or how you smiled when I would say something really stupid I didn’t care, until last night.

It took me a really long time to fall asleep, I listen to my ipod so loud to block my thoughts out. I guess those four hours in bed had to make up for the last six months. I missed new years eve, your birthday and a couple of months ago when on a Sunday night you were at the exact same bar. I am so glad I missed you, because I wouldn’t have at least tried to move on from you if you were still apart of my life.

Things are really hard, I know. and one day, I hope you know too.

My book is crazy and it is doing wonderful. I am going to miss the late night writing while I am away, but I have an empty book and a pen to keep me company and creative on long flights far away.

just wanted you to know. i miss you. very much but i miss her, even more.

Osession + Crazy-nice

It was my sister’s birthday on Saturday. We sang to the Beatles, ate really good cake and then spent the whole night staying up around the dining table talking to four of our friends.

It was good just to sit, laugh and eat and just feel relaxed. I feel these past couple of months having been nothing but hectic and now since there is 22 days left until I go on “tour” I guess there is nothing really left to do but relax.

So there is 22 days before I go to the U.S and I am super excited. I am getting my stuff together and running around like a little chicken. Things are good and better things are coming. I know when I get back I am going to have to work really hard but I am prepared and can not wait to get started on this trip.

I have been away from blog-land for a bit but that’s because I can barely get a moment just to catch up.
I have been very sick for the past couple of days, I feel like my head is pounding against a wall made of bricks and there is nothing to stop it feeling like that. Today, I was really low so I thought I’d freshen up by cleaning my room and watching a corny Disney movie by the name of Highshool Musical.

Things are good and they just keep getting better although I am sick. I have been getting work done on my book though not as much as I would like too, but I’ve got a lot on my plate right now so I guess I am doing fine for now.

I am happy, though I will never be fully satisfied. I know this because there are bigger and better things to set my goal as rather than just settling with what I get or accomplish. Sometimes I will look back wondering what would have happened if I just took that right turn. And sometime I would not care. We both are here, though you weren’t the one who ended up hurt. I know maybe one day I will look back and wont feel a thing or maybe when I look back I will still be hurting. But maybe I just won’t look back.

One day we will meet our match and I believe every girl deserves a nice guy that is crazy for her. We all deserve a crazy nice guy.

22 days to go!!!

Down and UPdate

Cannot speak long, I have to get back to get my butt to work. I only have ten mins: go!

I have been so busy for the last couple of weeks that I haven’t had any time for myself. Been watching a whole lotta movies at my bro’s house. He was away for the week and I got to stay at his and raid his DVD sets. So fun.
I watched Marley and Me for the third time this year and still could not stop crying, that movie is ultra sad.

I got my suitcase out and I am getting ready to start packing. I am getting so excited about this trip, I have dreamt about this for so long and now in a month, I am going.
It is super exciting.

I just wanted to say it sucks when you’re the only one whose heart hurts. It has been such a long time since I have seen your face, but it still haunts me and follows my thoughts. I don’t need you, I just need to be strong, and that’s all.

Last night I watched a Disney movie, and it reminded me about a time in my life where I still believed all people were good and nice to each other. Where everyone was happy and where love still lived in everyone’s heart.
Last night as I watched this movie, I believed that and I still do.

I went to my cousin’s house and decided it was time to take out all the old home videos and watch them. Five years ago I was a completely different girl, I would have never of thought I would turn into this person today. I am so glad I did. Evolving emotionally and physically is truly gratifying

I have worked on my book every night for the last two weeks, I am so proud of this and happy about where it is heading. This is truly rewarding. I am yet to read it to someone. Hopefully my sister is willing to soon.

It had been so hectic here at Kikki Headquarters but as soon as I can just a moment to myself, I’ll keep you up to date.

I dont like little white lies.

I like being me.

I like big cities, I like winter, I like being able to make a fool of myself and laugh about it. I like rainbows and rain. I like strangers who smile. I like dancing and writing. I like dramatic makeup. I like doggies. I like all animals. I like fantasies. I like surprises. I like adventures. I like theatre and musicals. I like magic. I like watching stars. I like romantic movies. I like cold days. I like listening to my iPod early in the morning. I like not getting up before 10. I like noise. I like reading. I like glitter and costumes. I like music. I like being able to dance in the rain under the street light without someone calling me a freak, I am not a freak. I am just a dork who likes dancing in the rain under a street light. That is all.

I have a photo shoot this upcoming week, I am so excited, have no idea what I am going to wear, but I can only hope that I will rock the camera. My neighbour came over tonight to have a movie marathon, didn’t end up watching more that two movies but it was good, we sat and chatted and ate potato chips.

Tomorrow, I am catching up with friends. I have been anti-social for a month and so tomorrow I will be off with three of my fave girls out for a drink. I am excited, considering I haven’t been out for a while, it will be nice just to sit, chat and relax.

Here are some pointless points:

• My hair has grown an inch, I have decided I am going to “try” and grow it.
• The songs I can’t get out of my head are, “can’t get you out of my head” by Kylie and “flightless birth American Mouth” by Iron and Wine.
• I am going to start “packing” in three days, suitcase is out on Monday
• My book is going well, I have to read a paragraph or two to my sister, something I am excited about but also been dreading.
• Holly Madison is joining Peepshow.
• Keltie Colleen makes being a dork cool.

The other day I was talking to a friend about how people protect us but end up hurting us more. Lying is not a way of protecting someone from the truth, it just makes it worse. I just want to live in a world where people are honest. We don’t need little white lies.

Went to the gym today, came home being sick. I feel very “sick” in a way that I just don’t want to eat anything. Hopefully tomorrow I will wake up fresh.

Where the City meets the Sea

I haven’t had a chance to catch my breath in the last eight days. This wedding has been the biggest wedding by far that I have ever been too, so many dinners and so much dancing.

I caught the bouquet that the bride over her shoulder and also the week before the wedding I won best toilet paper bride. It looks like there is a pattern emerging. As the bride and groom walked down the isle, I wondered if I would have a big family wedding like this one, or if I was going to have a small ceremony with only my closest family and friends, or if I was going to elope or something like that. As I get older I see my future changing. I always wanted to get married really young and be a young mother, but now marriage and kids feel like they can wait another ten years before I even consider them. I know, ok I don’t even have a boyfriend, but I would like to focus on my career and my future before I start thinking about someone else’s

My girl Alex left Thursday. She caught the 10am flight to Sydney and although it has only been four days since I last saw her, I already miss her. When you spend morning till the next morning, everyday for two weeks with one person, you adapt to them. I think I have adapted to Alex and her ways a bit too much coz now I find myself doing something things she use to do. Hopefully I will get to see her soon though.

I just wanted to wish my Mama a very, very happy mother’s day. Today we spent the day at the zoo and then on our way home drove into the city for a little detour. Today was wonderful. I actually got up-close and personal with a friend of mine who I named Kenny the Kangaroo. He came up to me when I wasn’t expecting it and we had a little chat, he stayed only for ten minutes and then bounced along to somewhere else.

I like being busy. My life since I can remember has always been full-on. I like it, I am not that girl who can stand in a quiet room and not talk. I always have to have noise around me. I like laughter and talking, maybe that’s why we were so different. I always had to have the attention. I love the attention, I don’t care if I make a fool of myself in public, I like entertaining people. I like making funny faces and being a dork. I like laughing so much that my belly starts to hurt. If there is a quiet room, I am automatically the first person to break the ice. I like being this way, and if you don’t I am sorry. That’s why I want to be in New York, it’s because not only do I belong there but for everyday I wake up in that city, I will never feel out of place.

Although I love noise and a hectic lifestyle, there is only one place I love to sit and think and watch the sun go down. I haven’t been to this place in so long but I recently visited this place and it put my mind to ease. I had realised how much I loved and miss this. I use to go walking every Wednesday night and watch the sunset but lately time has got hold of me.

happy mothers day. Spoil your Mamma's and love her with all your hearts and remember to tell her that she is loved every single day!