Thursday, November 27, 2008

jUST 4 kIX

In the past month, life had been treating me well, I remember a while back I was really down on why life had been treating me the way it did. I sometimes don’t understand why things happen the way they do, or why things happen in the first place. I know everything happens for a reason but sometimes I wish I knew what those reasons were just to make life a bit easier. I had been questioning what love is, what it means, the power of family and friends, trust, forgiveness, and just the weakness and power what giving yourself or someone a chance requires.
I somehow spent all my life living in a wonderland, where everything seemed possible. Where everyone could be what they wanted to be, where houses were made out of candy and where compliments and encouragement was still the few things that made us feel good. But in the past year, I had finally woken up to a reality that I never knew existed. I sometimes do not want to wake up or get out of bed because the world works can be so harsh. It seems everyone can say to you, “you can not be this or do that”, but who are you to tell me what things are impossible?. I know there is a lonely and dark road ahead, and though that does not sound pleasing at all, it would be much better than sitting here while you are telling me that my dreams aren’t real or are impossible to do. You, my friend play a very insignificant role in my life and whether you play that role or not, it does not bother me.
It is a very confusing thing; I sometimes do not listen to myself because I think the other person may know better for me than I actually do. That isn’t the way it goes. The only person, who has a right to your life, is only you. You, you, you. You are the only thing that is stopping you from accomplishing your dreams. That almost happened to me; I let someone else’s feeling, thoughts and words get in the way of my thoughts, my feelings and MY dreams. It actually upsets me quite a lot. To think that someone else knows me better and knows what is best for me than I actually do myself.

My life now has turned from shit into shine, all in a months work, even though it isn’t where I actually want to be, I am happy because I know that I am getting there bit by bit. I know I will not be at this place in my life for long, because things are waiting and whether it will take me two years or ten, I know I will make it there in my own time. Even though I do not have the prettiest face, or have the nicest body or the coolest clothes, I know I have my faults, and so do you, some might be bigger than others but no one is perfect. So friend, when you go to bed tonight, I just want you to think, where you will be in ten years time. And ask yourself “have you got what it takes?” you might have a pretty face, but it takes a lot more than that.
Everyone has their bad days or weeks, but I have had a bad year and for you to say I do not deserve this or are not worthy of this or have not got what it takes, then you are mistaken. Just remember. Karma bites back.

• My little Jimmy got into a soccer team and will be playing his first STADIUM game soon. I am so proud and can not wait to see him in soccer playing action.

• I am tired. Still no sleep and I have work tomorrow. Some things won’t change.

• I am reading a book, a very “cool” book. Biting the big apple. It is cool.

• Lucky Triple Sixxx launch is on the 6th. I cannot wait. Yay.

• .Happy American Thanksgiving.

Sometimes, you have to let fear become second in your life, let everyone think what they want to think, you have to be yourself in order to succeed. - Miss Kikki.S

and i

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