Tuesday, December 30, 2008

So I have heard tomorrow is bringing 2009 then?

Hmmm, I still can not believe that 2009 is already in our hands, well almost.
It seems like yesterday I was in a friends backyard celebrating the welcoming of 2008, but who new 09 would come so quick.

So tomorrow night is the night, I will put on my dancing heels, my black tutu and a flower in my hair. I will be off to celebrate with friends, go night swimming {hopefully} and watch the sun rise as little baby 09 is born.

So I guess with every New Year, comes New Year resolutions right? So here are mine for 09.

  • To go to the gym on a regular basis, no slacking off like I normally do. It is unhealthy.
  • Start my dance classes.
  • Cut fattening foods out of my diet. Less cheese. I don’t need too much.
  • Try to finish my book by the end of the year. {09}
  • Learn how to actually dance and walk in heels.
  • See Halle aka Sandra Bullock more often.
  • Start reaching for my career goal.

I have had a blast this year, so many good things have happened, but everyone knows you can’t have ups without downs, and yes I have had my fair share of downs, trust me I have even had more downs than ups. But I still would not change a thing about this year, it has made me realise who I want to become, and has taught me that I have to focus and work hard on the things I want. It has also taught me that it is ok to be scared, and that everything happens for a reason. I am still the same person that I was last year, and the year before, but I would like to think that I am slowly evolving into a better person. We learn from our mistakes, and I have made plenty this year but I am not ashamed of them, my mistakes make me the person I am today. I will always be the funny looking, pink hair, bright glasses, sarcastic, crazy, loud, optimistic, big dreamer dork that I am. And If that’s who I am going to be in the future, then so be it.

I am so happy to start a new chapter in my life; I can not wait until I say hi to the big 09 that is coming our way. Big things are about to happen, although they will not happen straight way, I know they will in time.

I finally found a song that I really connect to. I have never felt this say about a song, so I don’t know why I feel it so much for this. I close my eyes and everything that I have ever dreamt about or wanted, or even everything that has ever happened to me come in little flashbacks. It gives me goosebumps every time I listen to it. I think I have found MY song. It is a bit weird that it isn’t from my favourite band, and I wish it was, because that would be amazing if I had that kind of connection with them, unfortunately it is not. But I can not help or change how I feel about this song as sometimes I wish I could.

I am sitting here, watching the lights from my balcony, it is beautiful. It seems to me that the simplest things like light can be the most beautiful. I love watching them; I get so lost in the brightness of it all. I like that; it makes me feel like I am the only one in the whole world. Who knew light could actually captivate people so much?

Today was a good lesson. I always have wanted to become independent and today, I actually stood up for myself, I did things that I normally wait for my mother or sister to do for me, but today I did it myself. I am so happy that not only did I prove to myself but to my family that I am no longer a baby and that I could one day be living in NYC far away from mummy and daddy to save me.

Today, a year ago, was one of the best days I have had. Even though I got sand whipped so hard it turned my skin red, I had so much fun. A nice picnic on the beach in the middle of a sand storm and then a nice meal at the moon after with head aching music was a perfect day. Such a happy day.

P.S: we make one marvellous year of observing and chasing’ around: So Happy anniversary and happy New Year, my little Johnny Greenwood.

Last Saturday and Sunday were such long days. I woke up early on Saturday to go shopping with my sister and a friend, after shopping we went home, had lunch and then went out to a bar to meet up with everyone. It was such a tiering day. I drank three big cocktails and as soon as I fell on my bed, lights went out.

So Sunday when I woke up, had to rush to the city, and did some more crazy shopping. I am so sick of shopping now; I do not want to go into another shop until next Christmas.

I have big blisters on my back from getting sun burnt from my day in rocking ham. It hurts and it’s burning. Help.

Well it’s a little less than 24 hours until we say hello to the New Year, but I am so glad I am feeling optimistic about everything. This time last year I was feeling a bit unsure of everything, but right now I am so sure of anything.

So Happy little New Year everyone, hope you welcome 09 with a bottle of spirits like my girl Sandra Bullock, and hope you Rock it like my man Johnny Greenwood.


Love you fools.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

My Heart Is Where The City Is,

Yesterday was a long day.
I finally decided that after work that I would go on a date. So I spent a little cold Friday night in the little hot city of mine.

I actually didnt have a camera on me, but i found these. i think they were from last year, coz it is exactly the same. it is prettier in reality. photos dont do it justice.

Let me tell you, after feeling like I was hit by a bus all day at work yesterday, last night was what I really needed. The city was high, hot and hectic and since it was Christmas everything, was lit up and sparkling.
I had a blast in the city, it made me want to skip, jump and yell for joy, there was music blasting from every corner, at some point during the night it felt like it was a dream, there was a huge orchestra and choir in the centre, and it felt like one of those old movies that people fall in love with.

I honestly love Christmas, the feeling that I got made my stomach fill up with butterflies.
The air, the lights and the people, it made me realise how lucky I am to live in this city, or in this country, every one is so nice and super friendly. Though I do love this city to bits, and it will ALWAYS be home to me, there is another city that has been calling my name out for a while: I am so excited that I will be visiting it soon, but I am crossing my fingers that someday in the near future I could call that city home too, there waiting for me will be a little apartment in little Manhattan where I could spend my little white Christmas. **cross fingers**

"this is where i belong"

Today, I thought I would take a less hectic way of approaching things. So I woke up, had a very unhealthy breakfast and then went to Hilary’s boat harbour, where I caught up with a good friend who is a close cousin of mine, and ate some good wedges. The sun was shining, and I felt fine.

In news, I am playing around with the idea of adopting a puppy, me and my bro thought I would be a good idea coz, his dog Ty, sometimes gets lonely, and because Ty will be moving in with me soon, I thought it would be a good idea too.

Since the passing of my puppy in 06, I haven’t really had a proper pet in a while, Tyson is my brothers and Jana is my sisters, which leaves Bella, who was my sisters but then gave to me when my puppy passed away to make me feel better. Although she is mine, and I love her so much, I never really got to see her grow up since I was living miles away, and I didn’t get the chance to participate in her life. So it would be nice that I can actually do that again, and now that I am older, I get to be in charge of everything from naming it to vet fees. It will be nice for a little joyous pup to be called mine.

I might be looking into some dance classes, just for fun, but see where it may take me. i get goosebumps when ever i see someone dance. i love it, and i wish i could do the same.

Tonight is a Saturday night and I am not out. I can not be bothered. I am sooo tired that I am just going to be watching Save the Last dance, all night.

Also, something has been on my mind since the last day of 2007, it hasn’t gone away and I am getting sick of “observing” it coz, I too have a life of my own. Just wish that one day it will wake up and realise that I am here. Though I am getting sick of it, I don’t really want it to go away.

So it is back to my veggies and my glass of water, I thought it would be good for me to even out the unhealthy breakfast I had this morning for a nice healthy dinner.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

poured emotion and some tears.

I am sitting at the intersection of life with no where to go. i feel like there are so many ways to get out of where ever i am, but i have no idea what route to take. i am stuck. in a traffic jam.

i look at people around me and they seem to have more grasp of my life than i actually do. where am i going? i seem to be fooling myself of what my life is and what it will become. i seem to have everyone fooled, but do i need to stop lying to myself in order to get somewhere? and if so am i really 'fooling' myself?

i know whenever i am lost, the person who i seek help from is always there. she no matter what and with no doubt what so ever will help me through anything, i know all the stars in the sky are there to guide and help me through the little tough times that life will throw at me. but there is only one star in this whole world who is on my side and that will help me no matter rain, hail or snow. and she is incredable. little star halle, i wish i could believe right now. all the words that seem so sweet, i just want to beleive. i want it to be so easy an i really wish it was.

christmas is around the corner, and i do not wish to welcome it with an emotion that is other than happy. i will be happy as the new year is welcome, i will be happy.

i had a good long conversation with my friend who flew up for the weekend, we started chatting about things in life such as goals, ambtions and us in genral. what are we scared of and what are we willing to do about it. i told her that with me, my biggest fear was wasteing time, she looked at me and told me "nothing is a waste if you try. try your best, and everything that we have worked for will not be a waste, even though it seems like it, it's not: it's just one step closer to where we have to be"
she then looked at me and asked me if i love myself. i began to tell her that i love being me and that i am who i am.
she then cut me off in mid sentence and asked me, "do you love yourself?" in reply i told her the same thing as before.
she cut me off again and then told me. i accept myself, but i do not love myself. and to a certain extent, i think she may be correct.

i know she is correct. you are the only person you have to depend on, things and people come and go, but who will you have to trust at the end of the day? you. you you. you will know all your dirty little secrets, you are the only person you have to make your dreams come true, but you are also the person who has the right to stop them becoming true. you are what you have to love. if you do not love an ounce of yourself, then you do not have an ounce in becoming the person you want to be.

love yourself. drink heaps of water. and be happy. well, at least try.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Three boys you should know about

Today, whilst I was at work, I heard a beautiful voice on the radio. It sent shives down my spine and gave me Goosebumps from my fingers to my toes. I knew who it was from the moment he sang the first word, even before he started to sing, I knew who it was from the moment the drums hit the first beat, and from the moment the bass and guitar plucked the first strings, trust me, I knew who it was.

I put your records on repeat. it makes me think of all things in my life, and what i am greatful for. and you my boys, i am greatful for.

My three boys. I can not wait until I see you on stage. Until I see you live and in reality. September feels like forever ago. When will I see you? I need a rollercoaster. Now.

I will sleep with you. I will dream of you. I will hear your voices and see your faces, I will sing with you, in my sleep.

I love you now and forever. You are the reason my life is filled with hope. You got me through the past, and I will count on you to get me through the future. I need you to get me through the future.

Peace. Love. Rock and Roll. Roll And Rockabilly.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Just a little update since i am anti social.

I had the pleasure of helping out at the Lucky Triple Sixxx Launch on Saturday the 6th. Just wanted to say that the whole launch was AMAZING. Honesty, it turned out to be an awesome night, more than I expected. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves which was a plus.
We were at the Rocket Room for a while, the label got heaps of exposure and everyone seemed to be digging the designs. It was such a killer time.
After RR we thought we hit Black Betty’s to celebrate. The Band at Betty’s actually threw some shirts out to the crowd. Everyone went nuts for them. It was such a cool feeling to see that.

I want to say a BIG thankyou to the staff at RR and BB for their kindness. The night wouldn’t be what it was without you guys
also thanks to the bands at RR and BB for their support. And thanks for the killer music.I loved helping out it was such an awesome experience.

Who knows, sometime soon I may even have my own line out??
Just for Kix, anyone? Ha

In other news, I got some sleep, I feel good but tired, and was also back to work on Tuesday due to a back injury but am still good.

My Daddy is back in town, he told me not to stress so much, sometimes, i cannot help it, but he told me to relax, have a break and take a deep breath. and to my suprise. it helped. love you dad

Saving up for big things. I am so excited. Miss Christmas is around the corner and Mr New Year is to follow. i am sooooooooooooo excited. Speaking of Xmas and Nye, i will be celebrating them with friends, family and my sister and that will be cool considering I have not spent a Christmas nor new year with her in such a lonnnnng time because she works too much.

Also I have been playing around with the idea for next years new year.....I might want to celebrate it in New York. It would be soooo cool. I might be going to Europe in early January 2010 anyway, so before then, I might just stop by NYC to say hello and welcome the New Year. I know I am going to NY in July 09 but I just want to have a white Christmas and how cool would it be: NYE in NYC???
But that is just an idea that is floating in my head…

Speaking of July 09, still not booked yet, but I have a feeling that it will be soon which is great. Can’t wait. NYC, LA, MEMPHIS, VEGAS, LONDON, PARIS, ROME, VENICE, MACEDONIA?

And in other news….I had a fun Saturday night in a while. I got to have dinner with family that I haven’t seen in a while, then I went out and caught up with old friends, while listening to good music.

A BEST good and long friend of mine, known as Halle, actually wrote this about me on her MySpace page:

One day a pretty little tripper child will sweep me off of my feet; we'll live above the highest of clouds and argue over the silliest things. I think I may have found her.

That is the sweetest thing I have ever heard, and it has turned my heart all shades of pink.

I love you so much my dear girl. And I promise you that we will live above the highest of clouds and argue over the silliest things, forever. We will live forever. And even though forever does not exist, I know in our hearts it does.

Mr Clause, this is a note for you: although my best friend is falling for you, or has already fell. I can not tell you enough, she is a loving and beautiful human being that you will ever meet. She will make you laugh when you are sad. She will cry with you when you cannot be happy, but she will laugh with you when you are. She is amazing, and I suspect, that you will treat her like the gold that she is.

She deserves to be happy, and she is that when she is around you.

love love love.
thats all you need!

speaking of love, 30th, i cannot wait. a year. make any sence? nope.

i better go to bed. i have work work and work to do tomorrow. wish me luck, and give me love.

Well, that’s all folks!