Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Well I guess it just suggests that this is just what happiness is.

Today was sooooo good, better than I expected.

As you know, today was my first day of school, I woke up at 9:30 thinking I was late for class, mind you, my class starts at one. Last night I couldn’t sleep, I think I was nervous, even though I didn’t really want to admit it. So I went to school {I was actually running late} how funny is that, first I thought I was late, but I ended up being way too early and then I actually ended being late anyway.
So I was in class, and for once I actually felt I belonged there. It was so awesome to have other people there for the same thing your interested in.
I got home after three and a half hours which really just seemed like three minutes. The time went so quickly, it’s true what they say: time goes by faster when you’re having fun.
So today I took nap before dance, ate Fredo chocolates continuously and made this, all because I was bored and because it looks like fun.


It is so windy out tonight, I am glad I am inside where it is warm and safe. My mother rang me three times tonight to see if I am ok, she worries way too much.
As I was typing the last sentence my sister rang me to see if I am ok, she worries way to much too.

Sometimes, I can not figure out if I am truly happy. I ask myself am I happy just for the sake of being happy and thinking everything will turn out fine or because I do not want to focus on the parts of my life that I am not happy in. YOU are one of the aspects of my life I am not happy with. You drive me insane, you make me jealous and it seems that no matter how hard I try, I can not think straight and I have all this to blame on you. And even though I want to hate you because you make me mad, I can not because deep down you make butterflies flutter inside my tummy, you make me smile every time you are near and the feeling I get when I think of you is just effortless but amazing.

I write because I have all of this in my world because of you and no one to share it with besides beans and you don’t even know. You are player when it comes to girls, you think you own everything just because you’re in a band and you are completely oblivious, I do not care for that, when it comes down to it, all I wish is for you to know and love me, for the selfish, jealous girl that I am who wants you all to herself and doesn’t want to share with anyone.
Rad and Mad? Yes, I am.

Well, I am going to head off and spend a bit of time with Edward and Bella.


kurtsbean said...

I am ecstatic that it's all going your way, minus the douche who should be put on a leash. ;]

kurtsbean said...

Also... B.K uses twitter. :D